ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
