she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
