Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
