You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
