what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
