He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
