okay pat passed out under dana's car
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
