haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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