How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize