she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
