I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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