we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
