apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We need to get me chipped asap
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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