They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
