And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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