I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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