ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
