my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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