he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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