is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize