its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
