How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
