margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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