I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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