i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
