It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
