google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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