I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
