The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
