The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
