did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
