You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
