a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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