so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize