She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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