doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
