Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
