so that wasnt chicken after all
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
These tits shall not be calmed
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