I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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