I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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