its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
