Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
FUCK WHALES
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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