hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
