Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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