Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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