"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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