uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
