Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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