I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
