My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
