At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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