I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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