hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
