Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
