I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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