Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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