I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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