yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
