Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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