Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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