im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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