1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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