So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
