Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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