Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
