its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
